i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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