worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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