why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
