Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
