Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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