I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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