i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
