omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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