there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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