a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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