at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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