it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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