I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize