she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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