i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
