btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
