Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
