Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize