I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
