I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have grass duct taped all over my body
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
