I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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