she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize