There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
