Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
