so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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