Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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