Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize