he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
