last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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