Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize