the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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