i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
