I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
