ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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