plz talk dirty to me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
