we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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