so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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