oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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