Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
