you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
