covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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