Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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