Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
