does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
