It's Friday. Sex?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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