Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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