Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize