What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
