there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
