would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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