Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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