I cannot find my penis.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
