last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well I just put wine in my tea
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
