What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
