i think i have herpe
just one?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
