Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize