we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
