I want to walk on stilts...naked
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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