why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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