Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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