i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
