Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
