so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
